You’re Armagh not the All-Blacks

When a friend sent me this Sportsfile picture of an Armagh fan kissing Kieran McGeeney I responded with the obvious question.

‘Do you know who she is?’

‘It’s his wife,’ came the immediate response.

I was shocked.

As my friend noted:

‘Who kisses their wife on the lips?’

I mean, it’s outrageous. And at a football match - in front of everyone.

Surely there is a law against this type of thing?

I was expecting a hefty fine, possibly even a suspension from the GAA, maybe even some community service.

But nothing. The Armagh couple escaped completely unpunished.

This could set a very dangerous precedent.

Think about out it. What might happen should Armagh beat Kerry?

It doesn’t bear thinking about it.

You wouldn’t get away with it in cycling. Last week at the Tour de France, French cyclist Julien Bernard was racing on his home roads. The local community came out in force to support their man. Competing in a Time Trial which he had no chance of winning, Julien Bernard stopped briefly to kiss his wife and child.

It was a moment which thrilled the watching fans and set hearts fluttering across the world.

The UCI fined Julien Bernard 200 Swiss Francs.

I love cycling.

It’s a proper sport.

For the dullards among you, please note, I jest.

The UCI was wrong to fine Julien Bernard. But in their obsession with details, we can learn a lot from cycling.

Because it’s the details that matter.

Before GAA President Jarlath Burns presented the James Nowlan Cup to Offaly’s captain, Dan Bourke the first institution he thanked was O’Neill’s Sportswear, the company that sponsors the All-Ireland U20 Hurling Championship.

I was aghast.

I have a problem with O’Neill’s.

What they have done this year is a scandal.

If you haven’t noticed, look at the back of Derry’s jerseys. There is no red band. Seen from behind, it looks like a…..Tyrone jersey.

This abomination of a jersey has singularly spoiled what should have been one of the highlights of the season.

I am talking about the goal scored by Derry minor Eamon Young.

The video of this astonishing display of speed, skill and composure has gone viral. It has been watched and admired across the globe by more than 1 million people.

I’ve only watched it three times.

The first time was in awe, the next two times were in disgust.

Seen from behind with his white jersey and red shorts, Eamon Young looks like a Tyrone player.

I’ll not lie. It puts a tight knot in my stomach.

There will be sunbathers on the beaches of Rio de Janeiro and taxi drivers in New Delhi thinking incorrectly that a Tyrone player was responsible for this exhibition of individual excellence.

It is deeply upsetting.

All this crying and moaning and whining about Mickey Harte and not a word about the fact that O’Neill’s have sent the Derry players out in Tyrone jerseys.

And then people wonder why the county senior team misfired this year?

Details matter.

The Armagh minors are another example.

On Sunday this extremely well-drilled Armagh side lost to Derry in the All-Ireland final.

Derry were wearing their Tyrone kits.

And Armagh were wearing their All-Blacks jerseys.

What’s that all about?

Sadly, we know.

It’s part of an Armagh project to present themselves as bigger, tougher, meaner and harder than everyone else.

Again, this is unfortunate.

I used to love Armagh. I shared digs with a squad of Armagh fanatics from Camlough.

Lacey’s on Sunday night. Missing work on Monday. Great people. Great supporters.

For the longest time, Armagh was my second team.

But with the gouging, attempted finger-breaking, constant slabbering and gentle kicks to the head,  this Armagh senior team  have made themselves difficult to love.

I want to love Armagh again because I want to be rooting for them against Kerry.

Kerry have enough All-Ireland titles and enough support, especially in the media.

In the aftermath of Derry’s defeat to Kerry, the innate bias against the North once again rose to the fore.

It was a poor game so automatically that meant it was Derry’s fault.

The pig-headed stupidity of the analysis was astonishing.

Derry v Kerry  is the same as Slovenia v Spain.

Nearly half the Derry team comes from the slope of Carntogher Mountain (Slaughtneil and Glen).

We have a tiny catchment area.

Kerry has 87 GAA clubs, more than double of Derry.

Wisely, Derry didn’t try to beat the Kingdom in a shoot-out.

Derry’s caution was understandable.

But what of Kerry who simply retreated and mirrored Derry’s caginess?

Picture Slovenia parking the bus and Spain responding by doing the same.

Imagine the reaction of the soccer analysts who understand the most basic tactics of their sport.

Kerry v Derry was like watching a big cowardly heavyweight trying to beat a flyweight with jabs.

Kerry’s crime was that they displayed zero adventure, a fact acknowledged by Jack O’Connor afterwards.

Derry’s crime was that they wore Tyrone jerseys.

Hopefully, Armagh will wear their traditional orange jerseys on Saturday.

Armagh: you’re not the All-Blacks.

You’re Armagh.

In consoling the beaten Armagh minor team, Jarlath Burns pointed to their predecessors in 1992 who 10 years later lifted the Sam Maguire Cup.

It was yet another fine speech by Jarlath Burns who knew that  James Sargent’s younger brother, Conor won a Feile with Lavey the previous week.

Jarlath Burns understands the importance of details.

Let’s hope Armagh’s GAA President and his people have something to celebrate and kiss about on Saturday.